Navigating the Holidays: How to Handle Family Comments About Feeding

And still enjoy the mashed potatoes, the baby giggles, and the moment.

The holidays are magical. They're full of cozy traditions, twinkling lights, and tables piled high with food made with love. And they are also… a hotbed for unsolicited advice. Especially when it comes to feeding your baby. If you are in those early months of starting solids, this can feel overwhelming.

Suddenly, everyone around you is an expert:

• "Just give her a taste — it's the holidays!"
  

• "He's still on purées?"
  

• "Oh wow - you're giving her a whole turkey leg to eat?"
  

• "We gave you water at 6 months, and you were fine!"

• “You’re so strict, a little chocolate mouse will be fine.”
  
  

If you've ever muttered “deep breaths, deep breaths” over a festive charcuterie board, you are far from alone.

Why family advice about feeding your baby shows up so strongly during the holidays

Why unsolicited advice often comes from love, memories, and good intentions

The holidays often stir up a lot of emotions and memories. For many family members, seeing your baby eat (or not eat) triggers waves of nostalgia, concern, pride, and sometimes, a tiny bit of control. For well-meaning family members, it's often a way of saying: I love you, and I want to help.

Advice often comes from many places, including:

• Past experience ("This is what we did")
  
  

• Anxiety ("I don't want anything bad to happen")
  
  

• Excitement ("I want to be part of this milestone")
  
  

• Cultural traditions ("This is how it's done")
  
  

While none of these reasons make the comments any less frustrating, understanding the why can make them easier to navigate with grace instead of frustration.

How to respond to family advice about feeding your baby during the holidays

A gentle way to acknowledge advice without feeling pressured to follow it

Here's the tricky thing: most family advice really does come from love.

• Love tinted by outdated information.
  
  

• Love wrapped in nostalgia.
  
  

• Love sprinkled with a bit of "this worked in 1989."
  
  

Bottom line is … you don't have to agree with the advice to respect the intention behind it.

Simple responses that keep holiday conversations warm and respectful

A simple response, such as the following, can go a long way:

• "I know… feeding recommendations have changed so much since then!"
  
  

• "That sounds like it worked really well for you."
  
  

• "Thank you for the suggestion - I'll have to look into that."
  
  

Just acknowledging the sentiment can instantly soften the tone in the room. It reassures the other person: I see you. I hear you – thank you for caring so much about my baby. And it gives you a moment to re-center your own voice.

Trusting yourself when everyone seems to have an opinion

Because here's the part that matters most: You are the best expert on your baby.

Your baby's temperament, needs, preferences, and readiness are unique. No one at the table — no matter how confident — is living that reality as closely as you are.

Setting kind boundaries around baby feeding at holiday meals

What to say when relatives comment on your baby’s eating

Boundaries don't have to be harsh or defensive. In fact, the most effective ones are usually calm, friendly, and boringly consistent.

Some phrases that keep things warm and clear:

• "We're trying something new right now, and it's working really well for our family."
  
  

• "Our feeding specialist advised us to do it this way for now."
  
  

• "We've got a plan that feels good for us."
  
  

• "We're keeping it simple today so we can all enjoy the meal."
  
  

• "Keeping a routine helps my baby know what to expect and eat better."
  
  

• "Our pediatrician isn't concerned about his growth or development."
  
  

Keep it short. Repeat if needed. Then change the subject: "Speaking of food — have you tried the stuffing yet? It's incredible."

When it’s okay to step in and say no—calmly and kindly

If someone tries to feed your baby something you aren't comfortable with, it's okay to step in physically and kindly: "We're skipping that for now, but thank you for offering!"

You are not ruining the moment. You are protecting your baby and your peace — with grace.

Feeding your baby during the holidays doesn’t have to look perfect

Why holiday meals are more about connection than what’s on the plate

Remember: Holidays Are About Connection (Not Perfect Plates)

The internet can sometimes make holidays feel like a performance: Perfect plates. Perfect portions. Perfect milestones captured at the perfect angle.

But babies don't care about perfect.

They care about love, familiar faces, and the comfort of your presence.

If your baby eats less than usual? That's okay.
If they only want familiar foods? Also okay.
If they are too distracted by blinking lights and laughing cousins? Completely normal.

What babies really get from holiday meals and family gatherings

Feeding over the holidays will mean:

• An extra exposure to new flavors
  
  

• A sensory experience (new smells, colors, and sounds!)
  
  

• A chance to sit together, even briefly
  
  

• A memory in the making
  
  

It doesn't have to be a nutritional masterpiece. Sometimes, a few curious bites and a big, messy smile are more than enough.

Staying calm around feeding when all eyes are on your baby

How holiday stress around feeding can show up for babies

Babies sense the energy around them. When parents feel tense, babies often respond accordingly. Your calm is the secret ingredient in every meal.

Simple ways to stay grounded during holiday meals with your baby

A few simple ways to keep things grounded:

• Offer familiar foods alongside new ones
  
  

• Maintain your usual routines where possible
  
  

• Bring a trusted utensil, cup, or highchair cover from home
  
  

• Focus on conversation and connection
  
  

If you start to feel overwhelmed, it's okay to step away and take a moment for yourself. Get some fresh air. Change a diaper. Take a breath. Talk to someone else.

And remember: Family members mean well and just want to help. It may not be how you would do things, but one holiday meal or small vacation will never define your baby’s relationship with food.

What they will remember is how they felt: Fed. Safe. Relaxed. Surrounded by love.
That's the goal. Not perfection — but presence.

Making room for different feeding styles at family gatherings

Baby-led weaning, purées, and toddler favorites—together at one table

One of the most special parts of family gatherings is how many different feeding styles show up at the same table.

You might have:

• A baby-led weaning baby exploring soft veggies
  
  

• A purée-loving little one on a spoon
  
  

• A toddler who only eats buttered noodles
  
  

At Bébé Foodie, we celebrate all feeding paths. So if someone raises an eyebrow at your feeding approach, you can smile and think:

There are many roads to a confident and curious eater. This is what is working for us.

 

Written by Dr. Irini Kolaitis, MD

Pediatrician & Advisor at Bébé Foodie

Dr. Irini Kolaitis is a board-certified pediatric hospitalist in Chicago, with dual certification in General Pediatrics and Pediatric Hospital Medicine. With clinical expertise in food-related issues like anaphylaxis, feeding challenges, and nutritional deficiencies, she brings both professional and personal insight to Bébé Foodie. As a new mom, Dr. Kolaitis understands the ups and downs of introducing solids and supports our mission to make nutrition guidance simple and pressure-free for families.

This blog post is for information purposes only and shouldn’t be used as personal, health, nutritional, or medical advice. Always consult with your pediatrician before making any decisions about your child's health or readiness for various foods.